It's definately not moments like these we need

Grace kids piss me off. Sorry.

It's prejudice.

I think the blur gives the effect of "drunken party.'

Halloween wasn't swell. It was more of a disappointment. If I wasn't a witch, I'd probably have been a garden gnome. That's because I sat out the front of Luke's place for a very long time, probably practically still. The only thing stopping me being a garden gnome, disregarding my prior costume, would be the lack of proper garden. Maybe I should have backed up a few paces and sat in the mulch.

Why is it, these 585 words for my English assignment was hard to write, but the 3005 words for NaNoWriMo.org was easier. Today NaNoWriMo started. We have to write, individually, 50, 000 words in 30 days. How exciting. You get a piece of paper when you win. And a finished manuscript that you can edit in December. November is for non-stop writing, December if for editing. If I make a manuscipt by the 30th of November, maybe I should try and publish it.

Thoughts?

Logical :: lacigoL

There are some things that just defy our logic. Like helium balloons are attracted to the sky, whereas general matter is attracted to the ground - thank you gravity and Sir Isaac Newton. According to cafe chefs, you should put the milk in your cup of coffee before the hot water, to caramelise it. Taste different, I've tried. But wouldn't you want to melt the coffee stuff first?
Regardless, I defied my own logic today. I wanted Rinsma at my house for certain reasons, but when he was here, the reasons kind of drifted away... who knows. Why do one thing when cuddles and chit chat is just more relaxing?
I should have caramelised my latte.

Awards Night

So, I didn't get photos from Awards Night because I was too busy running around in the background, bumping into junior students who had no manners and receiving gifts for staying 'till 9:30pm. So, instead, random school photos that've already been uploaded somewhere before!!! YAY

Gah, it's annoying when people sign in and out, or appear on/offline constantly, to grab attention. *Sets status to "busy"*

Stalked celebrity

Yesterday, Jess found out what it's like to be a stalked celebrity. Then again, I don't think celebrities would be doing what Jess did in public. They'd at least do it more sensibly.

Animal History

Do animals have a history? I'm not talking pets, because they'd have been isolated from hearing about their historys. But what about colonies of ants, and wild cats? Do they reminisce about the time that ant nearly died by a human, but dashed in time before the foot stomped on the ground? Maybe they have a form of writing too, just not what we think it is. Their footprints on the soil could be their communication, but we just think of it as them walking spaz-like. Who knows.
I wanted to be Eliza Thornberry as a kid. But look like me.

A fire burns today

Would you kiss me, without me having to ask?

Sunsets are bootiful, as Patrick Star would say. School's been a massive bludge. I don't feel like the teachers are trying to make us learn. All I've done is drawn multiple Alice's in Wonderlands. It's okay though, I like not learning. And since our assignments are all "independant", I don't feel like I'm going to regret ignoring the lesson.

Weightless

I've lost so much weight, I can see my own feet now.
Saggy skin = no, no

It's rather lame, that my friend's boyfriends steal them away from me. Majorly. Okay, I see Rinsma lots and lots, but I still feel that I see my friends enough too. Even the ones that aren't Tug-A-Longers.

Friend's boyfriend -- give her back!

On another note, I got my formal invitation finally. FINALLY. Gosh. I think they've gotten stricter this year. I wasn't even away that day. They should see the date on my test paper, it matches.

I got my HD cam corder back. I have basic, experimental YouTube ideas, but I need actors. Which leads me back to my original topic. GIVE HER BACK!

Bernice;

because blogger has a problem with me commenting you.

It was my car, and my refidex is in my mum's car... well, was. =D

Those moments

Don't you just love those moments where you unknowingly smile, because you're so happy you don't care? Where everything's gone just right, to every point and detail, and those that didn't, you're completely oblivious to?
Sigh. Life is beautiful.

Apparently I'm some god on some planet. Stupid game, I wanted to be something more interesting.

Not my formal.

Rinsma and I are not the people to hire if you want to go somewhere we've never been in time, and not get lost. Sorry Janice and Stephanie and the teacher in the black dress. But thank you for being patient. I hope you guys had a great night. But, sorry to say guys, my formal'll be more epic.

In a bedroom

It's the moments like these you need.

Realisations aren't as bitchy as I was going to type. Instead, it's a relief: having being told. Now comes the hard part; change. And, taking the advice from my pencil case's badge; this moment shall only be as hard as him.

Punch me in the guts, until I vomit all this out.

Word vomit.

I'm sorry for being an emotion twat. For always letting the negative emotion push and pull the positive ones. For always being on the verge of tears, even when you're completely oblivious. Thank you, novels, for being my guidance. If not to help me, but to take me away from my own life and show me yours. Thank you, for not attaching photographs. For not proving to me that I shouldn't have thought what I thought: said what I said.
It's annoying when I want to go back on my word. For wishing so hard that I could turn back time. To tell you "No, I'm not okay with it. Sorry, but I have rules. Break them, and I'll break you: emotionally. And at the same time, I'll break myself." Sorry for being so hard to read. For being confusing and hypocritical. Sorry for not being straight forward with my emotions.
I thought I was okay with it, but evidentally, I'm not. I'm definately not okay with it. I want to hate you, but I can't. You asked me, and I said yes. So I hate myself. I hate myself that, right now, I'm on the verge of tears. The only thing stopping me is the witness in the other room.
I'll have a shower. I'll break down in there. At least you can't come over tonight, to stop be hurting myself.
Not physically, I assure you. But it might as well be.

Everyone's Talkin'

So, I've just realised I'm going to have a very boring after party and schoolies week.
I'll be all on my lonesome.
That's because I'm so loved with the people I sit with.

I'll just go to the Bellingham Maze on a Monday.
Hardcore.

Kicking myself in the nuts with regret

But of course I'm not going to tell you that.

I've started reading Jodi Picoult's My Sister's Keeper. I'm disappointed already. I hate present tense when it comes to novels. Now I have 423 pages to live through. I want to watch the movie, and I plan on ruining my experience by reading the novel first. Now I'll see what's taken out of the film. It's challenged me though. Will I cry throughout the movie? Many people that are emotional have. That I know of anyway.
Will I? Am I heartless?

I don't know why I said what I said yesterday. I wish I didn't. Regretful, actually. It's not a nice feeling. But all those other feelings tht I felt were. And today too.

Giddy

Like Amelia Bradlow after her night with Joseph, Kristina feels rather giddy at the moment. No, it's not because I found that chapter rather hilarious. It was more like a porn novel, that chapter. No. My reason is different.

Regardless, follow me on DailyBooth: http://dailybooth.com/DelilahMakeBelieve
Especially if you love photos. It's a photo based social networking site.
This makes me happy. Not giddy. So no, Daily Booth isn't my reason.

I need some actors for a YouTube video I want to make. I'll wait for the summer holidays, I'm writing a script. You should be able to work entirely free, to my standards, incorporate to my standards, help improve my standards, and memorise simple scripts. I'm not asking you to memories paragraphs upon paragraphs. Not yet, anyway.

I want to be an experimental director on YouTube. Help me succeed in my ambition.

I'm giddy.

I got a feeling

It's weird when a 23-year-old writes in fantastic prose as a way to pick me up. Okay, the prose is only fantastic due to the vocabulary he uses, the constant elipsis pisses me off though.
Stupid man. You're probably 73.

Also. I feel ignored. Very.
And lonesome.
I need friends who actually try to care, as opposed to obviously ignore me.
*tears*

Amelia's life is more interesting. I want a shag buddy. An all day, every day shag buddy.
That's not gonna happen.

People should get DailyBooth. I feel like a loner on there. :http://dailybooth.com/DelilahMakeBelieve


Just when everything started to go swell, you JUST had to talk to me.
Fuck off.

Dear Daniel;

I found myself redrawing a love heart, over and over again, around "Rinsma." Yes. I'm deeply in love with your family.
Lol. No, not really.

I miss you.

Friends Movie: Just for Bernice

The internet says it's not true.

Tv said, if you believe the guy that worked in the coffee shop in the Tv series, then yes, it is true.

I'll be there for you

I'm not happy. Nor am I sad.
The current predictment I'm in isn't one I'm fond of.
I hate it actually.
To put it bluntly.

He's here.
In my house.
A mess.
Germ infested.
Ruining my holiday.

All I've done is seen Rinsma.
All I've done is seen Amanda.
Bloody Grace students.

I'm bored. I took plenty of photos of my chickie and kitty. But not together. I don't think that'd go down well.
I should be doing my extension english. But it's giving me a headache. I think accomplishing 500+ words today is a goal worthy of pride.
So I'm proud.

I should delete the videos on my camera soon.








Chickie grew up too fast

P.S. Did I hear right? Friends is going to be a movie in 2011?

Darn all these good things

I always feel like everything's going great, and then, at the peak of that great thing, in comes the interuption. It's not fair. And now, tomorrow will be the last day of freedom for a long while. Sigh. All the realisation of goods things have been tossed onto me as a result of doomsday Thursday. 10th of Sempter - my very own hell breaks loose.
Gah.
On the other hand, half an hour ago was the greatest moment of my day. Except a call ruined that too, at the peak of the moment I may add.
Still, it was great. And I can tell it was great for everyone else.

Maths exam tomorrow. I looked over the revision sheet with Rinsma but quickly lost interest. So I made him cook me steak and we watched The Simpsons.

Good times.

You think you had it bad?

I was sick during QCS. Great. And I thought filling out a form to be able to sit the test another day would be a hassle, lengthy and that they wouldn't be as leneant as school is for extensions. So I sat there, hankie near my noise, cough lollies in a clear plastic bag, trying to focus on Multiple Choice I. It turns out, even with my glasses on, my sickness was giving me the fuzzies. But I got there. I think I did well.
Sorry Baxter, for sniffing. I stopped on Wednesday, just for you.
I think I did better on Wednesday. But I forgot to times by 60% on the hair question.
Shit.
I'm doomed.
That's going to bring my whole mark down.
Thank god your OP isn't purely based on that test, maybe I should do my assignments which are due tomorrow.
Lame.
I need a soundtrack for FTV.

Temporary Lighter

I dyed my hair dark red.
Yes, I've secretly fantasied about rangas and thought I should be one.
Amazing how many rangas are in Harry Potter.
Okay, so I have temporary dye in my hair.
I love my brown hair too much to part with it for more than 10 washes.
But I did want a change.
I'm thinking dark purple during school holidays.
Because purple wouldn't be allowed in school.
How is red a natural hair colour?
Why can't every colour be a hair colour, like animes?

Here we are now, entertain us.

Everything changes so easily. It's not amazing, great or bad. It can be annoying, it's just something I notice everyday with each person. I like noticing. I'm not sure why. But I sit there, thinking to myself in my quiet little corner, out of reach from the rest of the group, but still there, rubbing up against them.
Eh.
Someone decided to annouce to one of my classes that QSC was in 2 weeks. I was very happy going about, not remembering that we have a major, major exam in only a couple of weeks. Then some other person was all 'not-that-many-days-left-of-school' to go. And I was all "SHUT UP!"
I don't like being told when things are about to end or come. It's because then it'll happen slower, and I'll be glad when high school's over. No more teachers and no more people you don't like. But then it's completely up to you to see your friends in your spare time, or lose what use to be a great friendship.
That's what I hate about some people. That can't be bothered with their social life that you start losing that strong friendship you use to have. But they don't notice until they come complaining to you about something, that you don't seem to be putting the amount of attention to them as you would have a while ago. Iunno. I think that's just what I witness on a day-to-day basis. I couldn't really care less. Except with my own friends, but I try to see them as much as I can and time will allow.
I also hate it when people come to your place and you assume they're there to hang out with you, but just sit in front of the computer the whole time. Can't we just do something more productive? Computer time is for when no one else is around. Or you have a big arse assignment that's due the next day and you haven't started.
I need to pee.

Psychologist. Psychiratrist.

Choices, choices.
I want to work with psychos. I want to work with people who've committed bizarre crimes such as Eric Harris, Dylan Ble... whatever, Josef Fritzl and the committer of the Black Delilah. Those are so interesting, so weird, so freaky and so bizarre. I don't want to die. I feel like I'll be very protective during psychoanalytic or psychiratist sessions. Sercuity cameras without audio, so they do have privacy. Like, hide the cameras well. But then again, psychopaths may see right through that.

I was watching a Columbine shooting renactment. I teared up a little, which is bad. I should be an emotional block and only show fake sympathy. I'll learn to man up, by reading all these crimes. Why don't I work in the legal field? Well, that's not just as interesting. I don't get the chance to try and 'understand' that person, and why they did whatever they did. But what country and what state has the most bizarre crimes? Wherever that is, I'll move there. If the crime can't find me, I'll find it.

OP 5 ftw <3

Compare and Contrast 02

The Shining by ~DelilahMakeBelieve on deviantART

I'm addicted to Photoshop.

Compare and contract

http://delilahmakebelieve.deviantart.com

Confused.

I feel like some mean spiritural being has jinxed me.
This just aren't going that great at the moment.
Everything I do looks fake.
I look like I'm happy.
I look like I'm enjoying.
I look like life couldn't be any easier.
Well, it's like that, for the very temporary moment, and it just gets taken away from me.
I'm not that happy right now.
But I'm not sad.
But my tears say otherwise.

Cinesparks BIFF

Maybe I've been seeing Daniel too often. I probably deserve these breaks. But not seeing him within a two day gap seems unbareable. I'm so stupidly pathetic.

I'm getting bored of reading the Tomorrow Series by John Marsden. He should've stopped writing at book three, like he intended too. They just all seem very repeatitive now. I don't even think I spelt that write.

We went to the South Bank Modern Art Museum for Cinespark film today. The movie was okay, but I didn't like the plot l ine so much. Maybe it has the Napoleon Dynamite effect, where watching it the second time makes it ten times better. But why would you watch a movie for the second time when you didn't like it the first?
Anyway, afterwards we got some lunch and headed back to the museum to gaze at the artworks on display. Well, that's what everyone else did. Jess, Loryn and I went to the Gallery's shop because I love it there. I spent what felt like hours there, browsing at possible purchases. I got a magazine dedicated to Brazilan art. It's rather spectacular. I was going to get a 70s book, and now I wish I did. I think I may have preferred it. But that's okay, Jess and I are headed to South Bank on Sunday for Griffith's open day, we can always pop in and make a quick buy.
There was a rather realistic, giant woman sleeping in a bed. I wanted to feel her arms, they looked soft and flabby. No offence to the lady of course, I'm not saying she's fat. Maybe she is. But she's definately not skinny. I went to show Jess the big red circle that's always there, but the took it away! I was rather shocked. I visit the museum constantly (and still don't remember it's correct name) and it's always there, and I never get what it represents. But who cares now, it's gone. It disappeared. How depressing.
I got some photos of today. Not much, just the pink propagana wall, as I've renamed it. It;s meant to represent Chinese marketing. Or what it use to be. I also got the photo of the giant, sleeping lady. She was rather pretty.

QCS

My legs ache. They feel like jelly. Every step I take, I wobble slightly. Not only that, but just like jelly, if I leave them out in the sun too long, I feel like they'll melt beneath me and I'll just collapse to the ground.

So, it was QCS practice today. Written and short response. Not that fun. I wrote about a guy who got hit by a truck, and how his life's now a square instead of a circle. For short response... bleh. It was just bleh. I didn't like it, and I doubt on the day it'd be any better. I suck at multiple choice. How am I meant to study for multiple choice? I get like, 20 out of 50 all the time!
GAH

I didn't wear sun block yesterday. I normally do when I know it'll be a day out in the sun. But thanks to my lovely body, I'm not sunburnt. For all I know though, I may have just gotten skin cancer.

Powerpuff Girls

According to a very reilable source, grade eight kids, I went as Bubbles from Powerpuff Girls today.

Then again, why would I trust a generation that never watched Sailor Moon?

So today was sports carnival, as it is for many schools around Morten Bay Shire, and m aybe Queensland too. Unlike the high schools I hear about, we had a theme - Superheroes and Cartoon Characters. Because it's school, and no where near the standards of Supanova, I did a shoddy job of being Sailor Mercury. I was ecstatic going as her, as I thought I done a splendid job making it. But to my disheartened self, I found out a majority of grade 8's, and maybe grade 9's too, had no idea who and what Sailor Moon is, therefore not Sailor Mercury. They kindly commented on my "awesome Bubbles outfit," then I questioned them on what Bubbles from Powerpuff looks like.


No wait, I see how they got confused...

Let's ignore my angry rant about iGeneration or Generation IT or Generation after Generation X's unknowledgable brains about cartoon characters and get on with the story of sports carnival. I didn't get many photos, which is a shame. Shannon and her siblings went as smurfs, which was mildy entertaining. By the end of the day though, she looked more like a sick nurse than Smurfette. Whenever I say "Smurfette" in my h ead, or aloud, I think of the conversation Donnie Darko had with his friends;




So, for the first time in my high school experience, I participated in sports carnival. I forgot my asthma puffer, so I didn't go in the 200m or the individual 400m. But I did all the other things! Smartarse teacher didn't tell us which house won though, but last time we checked, we were coming last by one point. How exciting. I contributed though, so I feel great. Iunno what else to say, so I leave you photos from today.

Ana wrecks your life, like an anorexia life.

I'm not gaining any wait, nor am I losing any. Why is weight important for my judgement? Well, I'd hate myself if I lost anymore kilos to what I am now. I'm a reversed female, as I'd love myself if I gained another 2 or 3 kilos. But instead, I stay still. This isn't what I'm annoyed about though. I find myself feeling that I have to endure food, rather than enjoy it. I'm eatting less and less by the days. I hope this doesn't become into a medical condition, otherwise I'd be playing Ana's Song by Silverchair nonstop, as it'd be the only song I'd relate to.
Sigh.

Procrastination excuse.

I'm not sure what I was going to write. I had this huge rant written in my head, but now it's not coming out as how I prescribed it.

So school thought they'd be cool and do a "Superheros and Cartoon Character" theme to our Sports Carnival. What's the point of having a theme if there's no prize? It's just the fun of dressing up that get people into it. But being me, the Asian into anime, I thought of cosplaying. I can't go as my Yuuki cosplay from Vampire Knight because half the school will tilt their heads and ask "what are you meant to be?" So instead, I'll remind the girls of their childhood and go as Sailor Mercury. But because it is a school event, I'm not going to go all out as I would if I were going to Supanova. I just don't feel the enthusiasm towards it as I did to making my Yuuki-Cross outfit. That being said, I'm actually going to spend more on being Sailor Mecury than I did being Yuuki. Mainly because I'm too lazy to alter anything myself, so I'm trying my best to make everything premade. Of course that massive bow stuck between her breasts is going to work on. Where do I buy big ribbons?

Anyways.... I'm trying to start my assignments, but I did this instead. I don't feel the motivation to do them anymore. It's the last year, and this is the last important term we have. After they told me that, I've been picturing the easy slope of term 4 ahead, and can't get myself getting up their first. My history teacher made it sound cool, term 4 is just rolling down a hill, but term 3 you have to climb up first. That sucks. Everything should just come done. I'd buy cheat sheets if this was America.... actually, I wouldn't. 1) I don't have the money (let's ignore my birthday money) and 2) that's morally wrong and I'll regret it later.

So I had interschool sports today at Grace Colleage. They kept passing mean comments about our school's appearance as they walked past us though. I'm going to take that to heart, I will. But that's a bit stupid, considering all the sh*t the reserves were saying about their school. I hate feeling as if I'm in between somehow, but that's just my girly attributes showing, as my extension english teacher would subtly say.
He gave us the best advice today, to us girls, "stop being nice!" Nick then turned around and begged me to stay nice, because he prefers it that way. I wonder why.

Anyway, I should stop my ranting now because, as I was waiting for, a wave to do FTV has flown through my body.

That sounds really nerdy.

R.I.P. mousey

So my mouse died, well I found her dead, yesterday. The mouse above isn't mine, it's some random one on the net. Mine was so disgusting, I feel rather horrible. She was a beautiful white mouse, always running in her wheel, nibble on y our finger and eating all our vege scraps. There was, what I think, a tumour or something in her tail. It was a big lump, near the bum. Apparently mice dying from cancer is common. To me, it sounds so human, therefore odd. Mother thinks she actually died around four days ago, because she's been giving her lettuce for that many days, but she never ate it. Mum didn't like her so much, so she wouldn't wait to see if Ally would come out of her hiddy hole and eat her food. But because four days worth of food went neglected, we're assuming her death was four days ago. I feel horrible though.

Mother cleaned out the cage today and as soon as I got home (I came home early today because I had awful asthma during school times and I jsut couldn't take it anymore, so I was nice and queasy already before she goes and tells me this) she told me about how it was like.

"There were fleas eating her, it was disgusting to watch."

That's the second mouse I've had that died in an awful way. Jasper, my black mouse (odd, cause Ally was albino), died from suffacation. He was under the cloth in the cage he shared with Alex, and couldn't find his way out and died from what I assume was suffacation, but could be lack of food.

R.I.P Algernon (Ally)

Yea... she was in the boy section of the mouse thingy, but for months showed no sign of male genitals, but later it went massive, but I still call her a girl. When I bought her, his name was going to be Algernon, after the rat from Flowers for Algernon by Michael Crawford

Something that happened to me.

The strangest thing happened to me about a month ago in math class. I was eating a sardine sandwich when I realized that there was a bad smell somewhere. You have probably had that experience before. I felt like a million dollars, and I knew that soon I would have to paint my toenails. My friend Victoria had called me the previous day, and told me all about Ty's problem with the stray dog that was acting strangely, and I was a little worried about infection. Then, all of a sudden, I saw creeping towards me what I realized was a huge masked man with a chainsaw, and right then I knew I was in love! I remembered what the secret voice in my armpit had told me about a situation like this. It was very important that I not throw up all over everyone. Very calmly, I placed wads of gum over strategic locations and waved my arms in the air. Before I knew it, my arms were stuck to my chest, and I knew I really liked being naked. So you see, I really was thankful that I acted sensibly, and I decided I had to tell you all about it.


Kristina