Dear 2009

I hurt my hand on my mouse making this blog.

I was going to say how great this year was, but instead I decided to say nothing.

2009

Above photographs were stolen from Amanda's myspace.

I'm too lazy to upload new photos. I just wrote these in with their direct URL... so yea. I have plenty more I could upload. But I'm lazy. I can make a YouTube video, like back in grade 10. You're all tools, hey Sharnna?

2009 showed me that;

• People are insane
• Sex is awesome
• Boys have cooties
• She lost it in a car
• Asian photos don't have an English function
• Sushi tastes nice
• There's a Baskin Robins in Morayfield
• Subway tastes nice
• Mum is clumsy
• Green Day sounds the same live
• I can play more songs on guitar
• There's more music out there than what's on my iTunes/iPod
• Lindsay is named after a can of olives
• We have unused Christmas cards
• I should've been on my Ps ages back
• PS2 is out of date, but I finally got one
• Singstar is awesome
• Times get tough
• Happiness is great
• People's oddities are hilarious
• I should've gone to schoolies
• I want to go camping (thank you Bernice)
• I want to go in a hot air balloon
• The Ugly Truth was inspiring. I won't change though.
• And that, right now, I need to pee.

Come on baby, don't fear the reaper

In my years of being me (which isn't very long) I've learnt not to fall in love. It's one of the greatest, yet most hurtful emotions someone can feel. My heart has been ripped and teared at the seams so many times that what's left is equivilant to the fragment of balloons after it has popped. The pain is ridiculous and yet I feel it every day. When I see her face co-staring in my grief. I hate how I can't let it go so easily. I hate how it makes me cry frequently. Everything would be better if I weren't such a stupid person. I wish I could turn back time. I wish I listened to my aunt's advice of pestering him with endless phone calls. There's so much that could've changed things. But me being stuborn, I had to wreck what was perfect. And now it can never be the same.

Come to save, the princess Zelda

If you love me so much, you should subscribe, friend, or follow my Hairbrush blog. Project 365 is about to start. Nivek is doing it with me, so you're actually following two people at once as it's a collab blog.


http://hairbrush101.blogspot.com/

It's mainly a photo blog though. He'll probably write too much. =P

I'm not sick but I'm not well

OP 10

If I can get an OP 10 when my brain was too sick to comprehend any of the QCS questions in the same rapid pace as it usually does, then there's something wrong with this system.

If I can get an OP 10 when averaged C's in every class bar mathematics A, then there's something wrong with this system.

If I can get an OP 10 when my Written Response barely related to time, then there's something wrong with this system.

I I can't get an OP 9 with all of the above factors, then people believe there's something wrong with me. But in all reality, I did better than I should have.

But trying to be genuine is harder than it seems.

If there's one thing I hate about Christmas, it's the fact that, from that day forth until the New Year, I'm eating the same thing for lunch and dinner. Yes, Christmas dinner/lunchs are very nice and all, but on the third day of eating the rich ham and drinking what probably is already off, egg nog, my body starts to hate me. I crave the nutrients I'm lacking.

I just hope my family Christmas doesn't cook for more people than they normally do. We have about six people to cater for, and they normal cook for thirty.

I hate Christmas left overs.

Tell me that you will listen

Make me laugh. Make me real laugh, all the time. Let me buy you something for a change. Not always though. Sometimes when I say no, I only want to start a play fight. I didn't actually mean no. Sometimes when I say no, I mean it, and if you go against it, I'll hate you for it. Hug me when I'm upset. If I'm angry at you, talking will only make it worse. Don't hug me if I'm not very close to you. I hate hugs from a majority of people. I reject most high fives. Understand my nerdy humour. Understand the flawsi n my vocabulary. Understand my perks, even if I don't. Let me bite my lip. Don't draw attention to my singing. I'll stop. I hate my pimples, but I don't hate yours. Let's do something different, but you have to think of what it is. Text me good night. Write me a letter and post it, even if we live 30 minutes apart. I love getting letters in the mail so it'd mean a lot to me. I don't care what the letter's about. Make it something you haven't told me. Accidentally forget your pants, that way I know you'll have to come back asap. Comment my blog. Make me happy. Little things make me happy. Never talk to her again. Punch her in the face, that'll make me happy. Let me go through the same surgery Jim Carey did in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, just so I can forget. I won't any other way.

Merry-go round

I've started to realise I have a low tolerance for incompetent people. I know that's rude and judgemental, but the stupid thing in my brain is hard to switch off.

In other news, I've remembered what my New Year resolutions were going to be. Let's just hope I can stick to them,

• Learn to say 'yes' to more things - rape no included.
• Be more positive.
• Be less judgemental. That means, my tolerance for "other" people must increase.
• Try my best at university. But that's not really a resolution, isn't it?

And nobody believed me

He seems to have a lot of ego to keep. Why is it abnormal for me to buy not even all of his ticket for a movie? Why does he insist he'll pay me back, even if I don't notice? What does he get out of it? He's paid so many movie tickets for me in the past, and a scrapbook just yesterday. I'd say that I owe HIM the money.

Eh.

It's what makes him sweet and I love it.

I see angels and devils

My creative genious has lead to my possible contribution to the modern art gallery in Southbank. The only factor that stands in my way is that we were meant to build planes out of the crafts handed to us. Instead, I made a mini me. This is what I'd look like.

It wasn't easy to make; being treated like kids. We had to ask the supervisor to cut thigns for us and the only way we could attach things was by string, pipe cleaners or ribbion. That wasn't easy.

What made things worse was that it started raining while we were still there. Umbrella-less, and the art store lacking an umbrella supply, we had to trod on the bridge to Queen street in the rain. Yay.

I can't get away with it, but the girl gets laid.

I had a New Year's resolution all planned out yesterday but now I forgot what it was going to be. I even remember having so much belief in myself that I would follow through instead of forget.

I splashed spaghetti sauce on my T-shirt and I'm over due for a shower. I don't know what to do. I was excited for my OP score tomorrow but I've lost my SmartOP pin number so I might have to wait until Monday afternoon. That's when my mail arrive and the website predicts we should be getting the mail on Monday.

Sigh.

Woah, wo-oh-oh-oh, sweet love of mine

I was wondering where the postmen meet up before they start their rounds. The post office sounds too ordinary. There must be an office, or something, for the postmen to take their breaks. And what happens if a lot of the houses on their route didn't get mail on a certain day? Does that mean their hours differ just as much as a waiters? Also, why do we have to have skinny postmen? At least give the mildly obease ones the job of driving the van that delivers the parcels. That'd be nice. I guess our government doesn't think that ahead.

When I watch you

As usual, nothing went as planned today. Things fell a part when I didn't receive something I was hoping to attach to a present. Now I have to think of a compromise unless I mysteriously receive wanted part before Christmas. Well, December 24th, as Christmas is a faimly tradition so he and I will be with our own families.

Also, the absolutely awesome idea I blogged about has happened. I didn't go according to plan, but it worked nonetheless. The original idea was to get a 350ml coke bottle, or equavilant, and age it, as if it had been lost at sea for a couple of years. It would've been scratched. I was planning on going to the park to glue sand on it, and when it dried, I'd have dusted a majority of it off. Also, I didn't know how to fade the colour of the lid. Anyway, inside was a list of what I love about Daniel. I gave it to him this afternoon, without the aged effect, and he smiled lots.

Mission accomplished.

In other news, back to nothing going as planned, people who said yes didn't arrive. This happens all the time when I try and organise something. It annoys me deeply too. I feel as if there's something wrong with me. That there's something people hate. I wish I knew what it was, because I'd change that negative personality trait into something better. Then again, I once tried to change out of kindheartedness -- I can't be someone I'm not. I just wished I knew what made people avoid me.

Rules of Engagement

All my Christmas woes are over now. I think. All I have to do is finish my lovely idea. And since I'm seeing him tomorrow, I really should go to the park in the morning, with craft glue and a bottle of coke.

I really want to have a webcam conversation with someone, but the person I have in mind hasn't been online whilst I'm online anymore. Maybe he isn't noctornal like his old self. Sigh. Kevin, you suck =P

To blind to see tomorrow

I'm losing my original inspiration for this blog. Also, the photo you see above was meant to be edited in a more collage-d look, as it's for my uncle's Christmas/birthday (same day) present. Rex is meant to get the frame. I don't think it turned out as well as I could have done. Last year I gave him a photo album of all the old photos of me, Rex and Sean. Because after the divorce, I don't think he got many photos of us. He loved it. My aunt passed on the thanks he wanted to give me. I also got him alcohol flavoured chocolates last year, but I think they melted. I don't know what to get him for Christmas/birthday. I forward slash that, because I don't know if the frame is for Christmas or for his birthday yet. Regardless, as we've bulked bought Christmas wrapping paper, both presents will be gift wrapped with Christmas trees, stars and "Merry Christmas" decorations.

I cannot wait

Okay, I love food too much. I think I've had half the pantry already, and I'm still rather hungry. I know by the time dinner rolls over, I won't want any. I hope mum'd understand, but I know she'll yell at me for lack of eating. Pfft. Lack of.

Day don't end

I've been reading, or viewing, Project 365 blogs, and thought to myself "for my New Year's resolution... I should..."

So I'm thinking, I'll make a separate blog for a Project 365, and start when the calendar his January 1st.

It won't just be photos though. If I have any videos of moments, I'll put the video clip up.


=D


P.S. Awesome idea is nearly finished. I just need to go to the park.

Photograph each day, so we can live forever

I got part one of my lovely idea. I just need to go to the park to complete it, oh, and maybe do the most difficult part of it.

I'm thinking about ironing, but it's hot. Also, can I make my iPod play on my sound system? Because I can only clearly see the RYW cables, and they definately don't fit into the headphone hole.

Also, have you realised how deciptive Mother Earth is? Looking outside, you wouldn't guess it's very humid outside. You can see the trees swaying in the breeze, but the breeze is like, 30 degrees. It doesn't cool you down whatsoever. I like hot days when the breeze is nice. Like hot days at the beach =D There's always cold breezes there. Generally.

Looks like we finally made it

I have the sweetest idea I would really love to pull off. I'm not going to say much about it, because I don't know how often the receiver reads my blog - but I know they do. I hope it works out, because it's such a silly idea. It's something we can laugh about later.

Fingers crossed that everything goes to plan!

The sweetest thing

Being forcefully creative sucks. It's hard, there's pressure, and nothing ever seems to come out right. To top it off, I have to (more so want to) write a thoughtful letter to accompany what I'm making. The effort is hard, I can say, but I know in my heart that it will be rightfully praised.

Hopefully.

What you wanted couldn't hold us down

I feel like a girl who's finally dating her first crush, and therefore in her first relationship.

My first relationship was okay while it lasted. It was with Pie, but he refuses to be called that now. So let's just call him Ben. He was a long distant relationship because I fail at meeting awesome people in real life. I would be thirteen-fourteen at this time. What ended us was finding out that I was his affair and he was currently in a relationship, and had been for nine months. Therefore, he cheated on her for three months. I felt like shit when I found out. Not that I was uber in love with the guy (never told him I loved him) but because I felt responsible for this girls unhappiness. Or loss of happiness.

Ironically, we became good friends.

My next relationship was with someone I didn't realise I was dating until he went to break up with me three days later. It made me laugh. We're still friends, but we barely talk. He's actually rather depressing to talk to and I have a habit of avoiding those people. People should be happy, so I can forget my own problems.

I had another long distance relationship that lasted me less than a day. This makes me sound like a slut, but it was only a joke between two friends. Actually, I think this relationship happened between the gap of the one I'm about to talk about.

His name will be Mister. Mister was about to kill himself one night, but I didn't realise it was a major bluff. To stop him, I told him I loved him. This would be the biggest mistake of my life. From that day forth, we started dating. Once again, it was a long distance relationship, so I felt free to cheat on him lots. In which I did. People though Mister and I were meant to be together. But when he flew over to visit me, I found out how very wrong they were. He was completely different to me that I didn't like him anymore. In hindsight, I didn't like him that way to begin with. Regretfully, he was also my first kiss. Lame. We stayed together for 18months, but there was a break in between. I don't know how long that lasted for, that's why I rounded it to 18 months. It was more like, <18. But I can't be bothered to figure out the exact figures.

I tried to end us to many times, but he'd always pull out his depressing bullshit. So, in the end, I ignored his "I'm going to kill myself" pleas, and dumped him. Never again did I speak to him either, so he couldn't give me more bullshit. But of course, dumping him did hurt me a fair bit. And, less than a week after, he texts me that he lost his virginity.

How pleasing.

That leads me up to James. James and I probably only lasted two weeks. I don't really know why I wanted to leave him, I just didn't feel it was working. He's a good mate though, and I'm glad we still talk like we use to.

Now, I'm currently in a relationship with Daniel. But, as the title of this blog is called 'what you wanted couldn't hold us down' which implies the relationship is over, I won't talk about Rinsma =D

You're like my favourite damn disease

It's like a vision of love that seems to be true

Maybe we should play a game: guess what song Kristina was listening to when she wrote this blog by looking at the title.

I find myself checking constantly if he's online of not, just to get a five minute chat with him. If he were my boyfriend, this wouldn't be silly. If I were single, this wouldn't be silly. But both of those factors don't apply to me, I'm just a rather silly person.

To my dismay, bowling will be cancelled tomorrow because of lack of interest. I'm sick of this always happening. I think I'm that metal pole magnets are never attracted to. I would complain futher, but I'd be at risk of emotic depression - if that's even a disease.

I'm currently on my laptop and I can see our Christmas tree. If I were in America, no way would I have a fake tree. But due to Australia's awesome hotly climate, I've got to live with the same tree I see year after year. I wish I were more creative, or our tree had more branches, because it looks very naked and bare. It's silly and I disapprove of it. But that shouldn't matter, at least the star the lead the three wise men is perched on the top, I suppose. And mum's favourite angel gets a place near it. Everything else isn't important. From the home-made stocking, ornament size, from however old I was to the present wrapped in Coke wrapping paper with a santa clause with coolio shades poking out. As someone brought up Catholic, I question the relevance of a Christmas tree. Jesus was born in a stable, not in a forest of pines. Who decided on decorations too? Jesus' birth was simple, no fancy pants tinsel, ball things or Santa Clause. Whoever decided on how we should spend Christmas must be earning a lot of money. If they're dead, which I'm deciding is the case, their great grandchildren must be earning a lot of trust money. Lucky bastards. But you're still not as rich as J.K. Rowling or Bill Gates. You have a lot of catching up to do. Maybe make buying new cars for each family member a new Christmas tradition, I'm sure you'd catch up in no time.

I planned to confront him

So I'm watching Twilight again. I'm up to the time where I just analyse every aspect of it, especially Bella Swan. Okay, so her first encounter with Edward in biology mightn't have gone nicely, but why does she assume it's her that's the problem? Maybe Edward was sick. Maybe he wanted to change out of bio before they had to disect any animals because he can't stand things like that. Why does everything have to revolve around her?

Even their school magazine wanted to do a feature on her. Lame.

You take all of me

I wish I wasn't so dependant on him. I wish I could do things without having him to be there. But no, I'm some pathetic girl who has no idea what to do when he's not that. It's ridiculous and I wish I could change. Sadly to say though, my life without him revolved being at the computer a lot more. I'm so boring.

But we ignore that

I need more friends. There's only one I can normally rely on to hang out with me, but she's been trapped in a little boyfriend bubble for quite some time now. I feel like my life revolves around Rinsma too much, which is stupidly pathetic. Since I don't do anything when I'm not with him, days just go by slowly, wondering what he's up too. Gosh, I sound pathetic.

I just suck at making new friends, and I'm too judgemental in person. And that's a trait I really would love to lose, and how to lose it? --- meet new people, and hold back from doing a mental analytical essay on everything I hate about them.

Let's be friends?

Chu chu lovely

Kids know how to have endless fun. I'm jealous and envious.

Tales from another broken home

The only time I'm familar with water rippling ever so slightly is when I go into a body of water, such as a bath, spa, pool or beach, slowly. But last night I had a different experience that left my cup of water rippling inside. I went to my first concert ever. Green Day.

It was an experience I'm hopefully going to remember forever unless I get alzheimer's in my late years. I, for one, wish that will never happen. I was quite disappointed though, that I was so far away from the stage. It made photo opportunities slim pickin'. But I didn't complain, at least I wasn't at the very back like the people who were.

Jet opened up the night. Mum hates Jet, I love Jet. They were great and full of energy. Sadly, I only knew four songs sung by them, which happens to be their famous ones. Mother thought Look what you've done wasn't by them at started bad mouthing them for doing a cover. To her dismay, it was by them. Also, she didn't bad mouth Green Day when Billie Joe started saying "I am Ironman," or when he sung Hey Jude, Highway to Hell and Shout. He didn't complete them, but he still started them.

I love their effects. They know how to use fire to their advantage, and scare the living shit out of me when fake, loud, gun bangs played during 21 Guns.

Billie Joe really loves his audience though. He let a boy get 'exorcised' in front of everyone. He let a girl sing practically the whole song of Longview, which she used to her advantage - running around stage like a female Billie Joe, hugging Mike Dirnt on base and chilling with Tre Cool on drums. Billie Joe let another boy stage dive into the mosh pit, as well as another. He strip teased, and before Green Day played a drunk bunny was on stage, obeying the audience's request to "skull, skull, skull."

On another note, what happens if, instead of saying "BRISBANE!" he said "SYDNEY" or even "LONDON!" How would the crowd feel? Would we boo down Sydney, or even London? Would the audience sound very confused? Who knows, but I'm glad he didn't. But this makes me wonder, what if someone like him yelled out the wrong suburb?

Every me and every you, every meeeeeee - e

My hair looks hot wet. Think about it when you go to bed tonight.

Why is fashion so ridiculous? Here I am, looking at my Cosmopolitan, and once the model in the photo must pull of a smart, geek, nerdy look, she pulls out her thick, massive, black pair of glasses? It's silly. Not all geeks, nerds and smart people wear glasses. Look and Kevin Rudd and John Howard... okay, bad examples, for two reasons. Smart? No glasses? I don't know what I was thinking.

I remember when I first put on my pair of glasses, everyone complimented me for looking smart. So maybe glasses do work. Although, I still believe it's to an extent. How will big, chunky, black brimmed glasses pull of a hot, smart, nerdy look? It shouldn't be fashion at all. I reckon the only type of glasses that make a person look smart and professional are ones that actually suit them. Not some ridiculous cliche emplified by the media.

I wish I didn't have to wear glasses though. I blame my physical changes on the computer. So much of my teenage life has been wasted away looking at a computer that I can no longer use my eyes own their own to see far away. That's because I've been focusing on short distance for so long, that my eyes no longer work independantly when reading the Macca's menu. Sigh, I really wanted to know if a Deluxe Cheeseburger was really cheaper than a normal Cheeseburger, or if people were just joshing me. Because, why would a Deluxe cost less when it has more? Ridiculous.

But also, if I didn't waste my time typing 80wpm, I'd probably stop unintentionally cracking my knuckles. Did anyone think of this guy when I said knuckles?

Where does this girl get her awesome ideas for blog titles?
I heard they were just the lyric she just heard in the song she was playing just before she started writing her blog.
Oh really? That's amazing. I wish I was that smart. It must be her glasses.
Of course.

But your heart says no

Everyday I find myself checking, to see if my request has been listened to. Everyday, I feel the same disappointment. I cannot be bothered reminding you, but I hope that this is subtle enough for you to understand. It hurts me though, that the one time I really want you to do something, if the one time you don't listen. Or maybe you truly don't know how. Sigh. I'll stop being a whiney girl.

In other news, apparently it's weird that my ex boyfriend has an ex wife. Yea, he's three years older than me and we dated when I was fourteen. At eighteen he shagged a young lady, drunk, without a condom. This moment reminds me of Knocked Up. As the Christian he is, he married her before the baby was born, so it's not a bastard. Afterwards, they had a fall out, and got divorced just before he hit twenty. What a life.

He was the ex that cheated on me. Well, I was the affair, but I didn't know. We had been dating for three months until I met his actually girlfriend. It was very awkward. In the end, her and I became best friends for what lasted around two years.

I've started to notice that I've been in every position in relation to cheating. I've been the one who cheated, the one who was cheated on and the one they cheated with. I also came tor ealise that I've cheated on all my ex boyfriends and have never once thought about cheating on Rinsma. What does this mean? Have I finally grown up?

But I would love a single girl life during 18-21. Only so I can shag the people I meet at clubs, and never have to be committed. But I don't see that ever really happening.

Also, I've finished P.O.V.'s album cover, I just hope to God that they love it and is happy.

With my foot upon his chest

It's weird how I can be completely open with someone I barely know, because I know that if they judge me for my problems, it doesn't matter, because life isn't like the Sims. If you know what I mean.

I remember the last algorithm for Rubik's cube. Smile for me. Clap for me. Hate me for posting too often.

All I have to do is listen to me

I was just reminiscing, which I'm sure I spelt incorrectly and I'm too lazy to google define and look at the "did you mean." As I was saying, I was just remembering the good times when I Don't Want to Be by Gavin DeGraw came on my shuffled iTunes, and yea. There was a moment, January of the first year of high school, I'd have been twelve, hanging out in one of my friend's bedrooms with another friend. I brought a one of those mix CDs to play and I Don't Want to Be started playing. Her brother walked in the room, demanding who owned the CD. I raised my hand begrudgingly, but instead of being yelled at for pathetic music taste, he praised me and asked to rip the CD on his computer.

My heart skipped a beat. But I was only a pathetic twelve-year-old with no chance with a fifteen-year-old. I look at him now and think he's ugly. =D !

We're making something beautiful

Starting a riot

Something I've noticed about blogger is that it's completely oblivious to my double enter, and doesn't break the paragraphs how I intended. Must I edit through html? Isn't there a point to this easy-for-people-who-can't-read-code thing? I thought there was, but no! Now I must BR everything. Lame.

Anyway. If you take a good look at any guy, you'd probably find at least one aspect to them being cute. Or is that just me? All the guys on my Facebook are cute. Not sure about Myspace though, I'm 100% sure a majority of my friends aren't really... well, real? But instead the stereotypcal old man with no life living in his mother's basement. I say that, because I'm too lazy to think of another description of a pedophile. Denis Ferguison. Done.

I was going to upload photos to prove to you how cute guys were, and just have a recurring moment of Rinsma pictures, but then I thought that he mightn't like it. Also, I was going to add a random girl to see if you noticed. =D But now I'm lazy, and my stomach hurts. So, to avoid eatting, I'm going to got o bed.

Or maybe eat the Cheerios cereal we have.

Know that I'll be

Does he really love you, or does he just love getting head?

Christmas isn't a hassle in my opinion. But I do like seeing people at the shops rush around as if it's tomorrow. I'm the person who casually walks aroudn the shop, thinking about what I could get, and then purchasing it. Although, I must admit, I hate long lines. Is it me, or do K-Mart lines just seem to take years? Every other place I can feel myself walking, as if the line is actually getting somewhere. K-Mart, you just stand for ever, barely moving. It's not like I hate that store, it's just slow.

It's okay Bernice, I've never been served by you so I'm not subtly saying how much I think you're slow =P

Anyway, I've been making a majority of my Christmas presents. I've spent $3 on my aunt and mother, $6 on Rinsma, $2.50 on Janice, Stephanie and Rinsma's parents, $8 on Sean and probably around $1 on my uncle. Rex is still to be bought for. So, that's my Australian family/friends looked after. Now, I'll go to Spencer's and buy an ******* (he reads here) ***** for Kevin (estimated $15 + postage) and a Death Note for Lindsay (Estimated $15 + postage). So, in the end, I spent more on my American friends then I did my family, friends and Rinsma.

Amazing.

Thought I'd boast. But then again, I made most of my Australians their presents, so maybe time and effort should be added onto their cost. And time and effort is priceless. So, the price still stays the same.

I need things to do. These holidays are going by slow. Give me my OP score already!

Baby I wanna be your girl

It's hard to make tough decisions. I guess that's why they call them tough. In the end, I know I'll break. But I feel I have to do it. There's nothing there telling me that he loves me anymore, and I've always felt, since that day, that maybe we shouldn't be. So maybe, just maybe, I'll do that hurtful task. The task that'll make me a living potato for many months.

Have you ever thought that, maybe...

So I'm thinking of reinventing myself, which of course, will turn out into a disaster of some sort. But I'm bored of being boring. I want to have more fun, do more things, stop being on my period, and go to a pool. And shut up about tampons already - a fake dick up me ? No thanks. Lol. I find them uncomfortable. Okay, enough about bloodly fluids.

Reinvent.

But what's fun to do?

Who wants to go bowling? Why am I asking here though, this question is only directed to the two or three people who actually read this, and they'll probably say no and not even reply. Lamos.

She ready for robot

Sigh, I blog too often at some stages, than neglect it during others. Anyways.

During schoolies week I had this conversation with a friend.

Friend: did you go to schoolies?
Me: Nah
Friend: why not?
Me: I'm lame.
Friend: lol, what about rinsma?
Me: He went with mates
Friend: are you scared he might do something?
Me: I trust him lots. He promised he won't do anything stupider than he already is.
Friend: lol. thats good. at least you trust him enough


Nice to have your chat logs save.

Come and have a drink with us

If you know me well enough, you'd know I don't drink alcohol. I'm not a fan of drunken parties and the stupidity it brings out in people. I can be high with Janice and we'd have had nothing to drink, smoke, inject, swallow or however else you can take drugs.

But it's time I get out of my soberness and attend an eighteenth. As you can imagine, there'll be alcohol. And yes, I'll drink. I don't care if I have someone there to look after me (person I'm thinking about probably has a graduation party to attend the same night) I'll just make a fool of myself and wake up with a hangover in the morning.

Yay.

Just go ahead now.

I can't hold it in. I thought I could forgive and forget. But forgetting is so hard. Every second in my head I picture the moment and I burst into tears. Life is hard and I wish this phase goes away because I can't live like this forever.

Only believe the things I wrote.

Maybe I deserve what happened. I've cheated on a boyfriend before. But he didn't care, he just found it as the perfect excuse to leave me. Well, he didn't know for a while. But he always wanted to leave me and I couldn't leave him because it made me feel horrible. Gosh, guys suck.